Doc Octagon Speaks: On Eyepokes

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

People have been discussing what to do about accidental eyepokes in mixed martial arts for some time now. There is no way to fix the gloves so that eyepokes are impossible without fucking up the grappling game. There are two problems with the eyepoke: First, the refs almost never see them. Second, there is absolutely no detriment to the poker.  

With regard to the first issue, they need to start letting the fighters signal when there’s been an eyepoke in order to stop the action. The way things are now, if the ref doesn’t see it and one guy reacts like he’s clearly been poked in the eye, the ref does nothing. Then the pokee has to hope that the other guy doesn’t fucking murder him while he can’t see. That happened more than once tonight at UFC 159.  

Sometimes the ref even refuses to stop the action. It’s not the ref’s fault a lot of the time that they don’t see this shit. If you’re not in slow motion at the exact right camera angle, you just see two guys throwing hands. They need to let the fighters call time, and if the replay shows no eyepoke, they can penalize them a point or something. The current system isn’t working.

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UFC 159 Recap: Jon Jones Stops Chael Sonnen in Newark

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Strange night of fights.  Here’s what went down:

Jon Jones, as expected, mauled Chael Sonnen in the first round. Jones managed to horrifically break his toe in the process; he looked like he was going to barf after the fight. If Chael was able to hang on another thirty seconds, he would have been the new UFC light heavyweight champion.

Alan Belcher did not seem to want any part of Michael Bisping, and just hung out outside without putting up much offense while getting picked apart. The fight was ended early on a vicious eyepoke from Bisping to Belcher’s surgically repaired eye. Bisping won on the scorecards.

Roy Nelson demolished Cheick Kongo with an overhand right in the first round, as expected.

I know I keep saying it, but the fights went according to script. Vinny Magalhaes was unable to get the fight to the ground, instead getting picked apart by Phil Davis’ halfway-decent striking.  

Pat Healy and Jim Miller fought for the title of best lightweight in the UFC with a ginger beard and a shaved head. Healy looked like a beast and was able to submit Miller in the third. Miller refused to tap and ended up unconscious.  

For those of you keeping score at home, that was two fights that ended due to eyepokes and two fights with brutal injuries to the small digits. Jones was lucky that the fight ended when it did, because there’s no fucking way a doctor would have let him start the second with his toe perpendicular. 

Rustam Khabilov vs Yancy Medeiros

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Big Dan is in the ring. Finally a ref who’s not an assclown. 

Round 1: Leg kick by Yancy Medeiros. Right by Yancy. Right by Rustam Khabilov, then another. Huge right by Yancy misses. Rustam catches a kick and jumps on the back. Yancy pops up, but Rustam takes a single. Yancy pops back up.  

Big Dan stops the fight because Yancy has dislocated his thumb. Totally reasonably stoppage, but I’m pissed because this fight was looking good.  

Rustam Khabilov by TKO due to thumb injury. What a terrible card so far.  Hopefully the rest of the fights are better. 

Ovince St. Preux vs Gian Villante

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Lot off fighters sponsored by Salesforce.com tonight. I fucking hate Salesforce. Ovince St. Preaux vs Gian Villante up next, live updates after the jump:

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Sheila Gaff vs Sara McMann

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Sara McMann is an Olympic wrestler. Sheila “The German Tank” Gaff is a vicious striker.

Oh Christ.  What the fuck is ring announcer Bruce Buffer wearing? A red tux?

We went from UFC boss Dana White saying women’s MMA was never going to happen, to having a women’s fight on pretty much every card. Now that’s progress. It doesn’t hurt that there hasn’t been a bad women’s fight yet.   

Round 1:  Gaff runs forward. McMann immediately takes Gaff down with a double. McMann working the body from inside the guard. Those punches look pretty vicious. The ref stands them up.  

McMann punches Gaff in the face and ties her up. Gaff is landing knees to the body, but McMann gets a single leg and is in side control. She’s lighting up Gaff’s face with both arms trapped; the ref ends it. 

McMann by TKO.

Brian Caraway vs Johnny Bedford

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Hopefully Miesha Tate doesn’t tell her husband Brian Caraway that he’s winning the fight against Johnny Bedford while he’s losing, like she did last time when he failed to push the action and lost a decision. Live updates after the jump:

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UFC 159: Facebook Prelims Recap

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Steve Siler won a pretty clear unanimous 29-28 decision against Kurt Holobaugh, who made quite a puddle of blood in the octagon during the first round.

Cody McKenzie was all over Leonard Garcia in the first two rounds, and pretty much had a hold on Garcia’s neck the whole time. Garcia threw his trademark wild haymakers in the third round, but was too tired and arguably outstruck by McKenzie.  

If Leonard Garcia isn’t cut from the UFC after this fight, I’ll be shocked. This matchup seemed tailor-made for him. McKenzie won the decision by scores of 30-27, 29-28 and 29-28. I gave all three rounds to Cody. 

Benson Henderson vs Gilbert Melendez

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Round 1: Leg kick from Gilbert Melendez. Leg kick from Benson Henderson. Gilbert lands a right. Henderson lands a left on a Melendez leg kick. Gilbert catches a kick, pops Benson in the face and climbs into Benson’s guard. Benson is sitting up against the fence.  

Henderson stands up and takes a knee to the face. Henderson throws a punch that goes over Gilbert’s curly head. Gilbert catches another kick and goes for a flying knee, but the champ grabs him and pushes him against the fence. Benson working the knees from the clinch. Melendez gets separation and lands a punch on the break.  

Head kick from Benson blocked. Head kick from Benson misses. Henderson with a leg kick. Leg kick from Gilbert. Leg kick from Melendez. Body kick by Benson, Gilbert catches it and throws him down. Leg kick from Benson is checked. Benson comes in and Gilbert lands. Gilbert catches a kick and lands another right as the round ends.  

10-9 Gilbert Melendez.

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Daniel Cormier vs Frank Mir

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Daniel Cormier is actuallly older than Frank Mir. I always think of Mir as super old because he’s been in mixed martial arts for so long, but Cormier is a former Olympic wrestler, so he didn’t get into the sport until late.  Can’t wait for this fight.

Announcer Joe Rogan keeps on talking about how good Mir’s conditioning is and how great he looks. He looks the same as always and when you’re as big as Mir, it’s probably hard to develop some cardio at age 33.

Apparently they now have a strawberry margarita Bud Light. Sounds   delicious. Live updates after the jump:

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Nate Diaz vs Josh Thompson

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Two of Cesar Gracie’s guys are fighting.  Probably hard to find a corner man who isn’t completely baked. Nate Diaz is involved, so we’re obviously rooting for him. Josh Thompson is tough though, coming off a close decision loss against Gilbert Melendez that many thought that he won.  

I’m thinking he won’t have trouble transitioning from a six-sided cage to an eight-sided cage. Clownass Beltran is the ref. Live updates after the jump:

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Chad Mendes vs Darren Elkins

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

West coast teams are well-represented tonight. I think Darren Elkins has the longest odds on the card. Elkins is actually pretty good, but it would take some balls to bet on him. Chad Mendes is a monster.  

Round 1: Mendes with a good leg kick. Leg kick fromm Mendes. A lunging right from Mendes staggers Elkins. Another right from Mendes and Elkins is hurt. Mendes lands one more shot on the ground and Elkins is done for.  

That was short. Mendes by KO at 1:08 of the first round.

UFC 158 Prelims: Daron Cruickshank vs. John Makdessi

Detroit photo by Gautham Nagesh for StiffJab.com

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

John Makdessi looks like Fred Armisen playing former New York Governor David Patterson. Daron Cruickshank is known as “The Detroit Superstar,” so you know he’s tough. Live updates after the jump:

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UFC 158 Recap: Facebook Prelims

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Reuben Duran vs. George Roop: Roop is back down to 135 lbs. after losing two in a row at 145. Roop is 6’1” tall, giving him a build similar to our esteemed editor. Duran fought like a bum and managed to lose rounds even when on top of Roop, where he was content to just stay on top of George and eat elbows.

T.J. Dillashaw vs. Issei Tamure: As expected Dillashaw steamrolled Issei, catching him with a kick to the face in the second and ending it on the ground.  

Rick Story vs. Quinn Mulhern: In what can only be described as a gift of a bounceback fight on the Facebook undercard, Story walked through Quinn’s punches and ended the fight with a TKO in the first round. Expect this one to be patched into the Pay Per View if there’s a quick knockout.