Posts tagged Human Sexuality
The Fourth Judge Doesn’t Feel Sorry for Vin Baker
A few weeks ago I read a story about Vin Baker, notorious NBA drunkard — not that I’m judging — reportedly losing $86 million in bad investments.
On the one hand I feel bad for the guy. $86 million is a lot of loot to flush down the toilet. But on the other hand, the hand that knows its ass from its elbow, what the fuck was he doing investing $86 million? You invest money so you can GET $86 million. Once you have $86 million you stop what you’re doing and you buy a bunch of coke and an island and a whole mess of shallots (they make everything more delicious). If there’s enough money left over you send your kids to Rutgers.
The Fourth Judge
There is a frying pan in my sink with wet scrambled egg remnants producing a smell that would terrify Jesus Christ himself. It’s been in there for a couple of days, but the whole situation has intensified dramatically in the past 24 hours, to the point that it would be an improvement if I took 6,000 shits in a rotting lama carcass and baked the whole concoction at 450 degrees for 3 days straight.
I haven’t cleaned the pan because I know in my heart of hearts that the smell could get a lot worse, and I believe I can live with the current stench level for another couple of days before it becomes completely intolerable.
