Posts tagged Dating
The Fourth Judge Doesn’t Feel Sorry for Vin Baker
A few weeks ago I read a story about Vin Baker, notorious NBA drunkard — not that I’m judging — reportedly losing $86 million in bad investments.
On the one hand I feel bad for the guy. $86 million is a lot of loot to flush down the toilet. But on the other hand, the hand that knows its ass from its elbow, what the fuck was he doing investing $86 million? You invest money so you can GET $86 million. Once you have $86 million you stop what you’re doing and you buy a bunch of coke and an island and a whole mess of shallots (they make everything more delicious). If there’s enough money left over you send your kids to Rutgers.
The Fourth Judge
I have the best cubicle setup at work that a human being could possibly have. Short of getting an office, there is no way my situation could possibly be improved.
I’m at the end of a row so nobody ever walks past me. People only stop by if they need something from me, and since I do as little as humanly possible here, that’s a rare occurrence. My cubicle is so isolated I could jerk off to completion during 95% of the work day.
What makes my cubicle location truly outstanding, though, is that I’m right next to a window with an amazing view of Midtown Manhattan. This shit is seriously out of control. Anytime I get bored cruising Dead Nigga Storage (highly recommended) I take a break to look out my window and take in the wonders of New York City. I can observe the people scurrying about on the streets below. I can scan the rooftops and get jealous of how many trees that obscenely rich asshole has on his custom-built deck. I can bask in the majesty of the Empire State Building.
The one downside is that my boss sits on the other side of my cubicle and is even more enthusiastic about the view than I am, often demanding that I drop whatever it is I’m doing (gchatting) to appreciate a rainbow or beautiful sunset.
