Kangaroo Court: Nick Diaz Suspended One Year For Marijuana, Chael Sonnen Gets To Juice

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Proving once again what a bunch of worthless idiots they are, the Nevada State Athletic Commission recently suspended Nick Diaz a year for marijuana use, while allowing Chael Sonnen a medical exemption for his low testosterone.

Mr. Diaz’s transgression poses no danger to his opponents, or to Diaz for that matter, as the test only proved that he had been high in the past, not during a fight. On the other hand, consider the NSAC’s punishments for mixed martial artists caught taking steroids, resulting in their opponents being locked in a cage to fight someone unnaturally strong and aggressive as a result of performance enhancers:

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Jon Jones Totals Bentley in Binghamton: Arrested for DUI

The Washington Post reports Jon Jones wrapped his Bentley around a telephone pole in Binghamton, NY at 5:00am this morning. It is probably the one in the picture above, unless he bought another. I’m guessing he’s not going to be appearing in any more Bud Light ads. Enjoy Responsibly. 

Josh Barnett vs Daniel Cormier

Photo by Esther Lin/Showtime

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Before this fight I was like, damn, Josh Barnett (left) is old as hell, but it just seems that way because he won the UFC championship when he was 24. He was caught juicing soon after for the first of his three positive tests. Barnett maintains his innocence, but one look at his body now that he is being tested regularly shows otherwise.  

Daniel Cormier (above right) is about the same age as Barnett, but also a former Olympian. Barnett has been fighting a ton of bums lately, so I’m not impressed by his recent resurgence. Cormier gets better every fight; if he can avoid getting caught by the always-tricky Barnett, he should be able to win this one. Round-by-round updates after the jump:

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Gilbert Melendez vs Josh Thomson

Photo by Esther Lin/Showtime

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

This fight was all I needed to see to remove Gilbert Melendez (above) from the discussion of top lightweights. His boxing looked terrible. His wrestling was ineffective. He did his worst damage eye-pokes, while Josh Thomson was landing clean shots that rearranged Melendez’s face. But the judges scored for Melendez, 47-48 and 48-47 (twice).

Thomson, who looked awful while putting on a positively Fitchian lay-and-pray clinic against K.J. Noons, looked great against Melendez, the Strikeforce lightweight champ. We previously expected that Gil would get an immediate title shot whenever he finally moves over to the UFC. Now, it looks like he would have a tough time handling a fighter like Donald Cerrone.  

As I saw it, Gil won the first two rounds and Thomson won the last two. The third round was close as hell, but I gave it to Thomson. Still, it was a reasonable decision from the judges. I’m guessing they differed on round three, since even I might change my mind upon review.

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Rafael Cavalcante vs Mike Kyle

Photo by Esther Lin/Showtime

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Rafael Cavalcante defeated Mike Kyle by submission in just 33 seconds Saturday night on the Strikeforce undercard. Cavalcante opened by catching Kyle’s lowered head with a huge knee. Kyle staggered as Cavalcante whiffed on his next few punches, allowing Kyle to work to his feet. But Cavalcante jumped up and locked in a tight guillotine choke on the standing Kyle, who gamely tried to tough it out. He was unable to escape and ended up falling to the ground and tapping out, just half a minute into the opening round.

Live: David Rickels vs Karl Amoussou

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

No elbows to the head allowed. That’s some fucking bullshit right there. 

Round 1: Karl Amoussou with a big head-kick. Karl throws  a combination and got kicked so hard his jock strap broke. Yowzers. Never seen that happen before. They’re going back to the locker room to get the man a spare jock strap. Looks like someone is going to have to share. Eww. Pretty fucking awkward bra. I guess there’s not much else you can do. 

They’re fucking taping this thing on. I don’t know if I would trust my cock to some medical tape. That shit comes unstuck and the next inside legkick could turn your junk into a sack full of mush. 

The action restarts and Karl is throwing huge kicks, he gets the takedown. Karl is swinging for the fences with every shot. He’s very explosive and reminds me of Melvin Guillard. David Rickels sweeps and gets a tight closed guard going, the ref stands them up. Rickels goes for a flying knee and Karl gets him on the ground, then lets him up. 

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Megumi Fujii vs Jessica Aguilar

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Jessica Aguilar recently revealed that she is bisexual, which makes her the first bisexual fighter that I am aware of. But I’m sure I will be corrected by the commentariat in our bustling comments section. 

Anyhow, it’s a good thing for the sport, which has had some issues with homophobia in the past. According to Bellator’s rankings, Bellator pretty much owns the ladies’ 115 pound weight class. Round-by-round scoring after the jump:

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Bellator 69 Live: Mark Holata vs Abe Wagner

by Dr. Octagon, J.D.

Round 1: Mark Holata lands a left, shoots and takes down Abe Wagner. Haven’t seen Wagner since TUF, but I remember his lack of cardio. Wagner is moving his guard up high and is going for an armbar. Holata is pretty chunky, and smaller than Abe, but seems to be outmuscling him so far. Holata isn’t getting anything done at all. 

Holata goes for a foot lock and Abe counters with a foot lock of his own. I didn’t see a tap, but the ref said Abe tapped. I just watched it again and I’m not seeing a tap, maybe it was a verbal tap. Abe isn’t complaining and is walking light on his leg. Yup, there it is. Replay shows a verbal tap. Holata by heel hook. 

Dusty Harrison & Ty Barnett Prop Up DC Boxing

by Gautham Nagesh

WASHINGTON, D.C.—It’s been a rough month for boxing in the nation’s capital.

Most of the momentum gained in recent months appears to have been squandered, after a series of events connected to December’s Khan-Peterson fight. That night’s big winner Lamont Peterson is facing intense scrutiny and possible suspension after testing positive for a banned substance, leading to the cancellation of the rematch scheduled for Saturday.

In addition, Amir Khan’s promoter Golden Boy has pulled out of a scheduled June 30th card at the Verizon Center, reportedly still smarting after some hometown officiating helped Peterson upset the British 140-lb titlist. Finally, NoVa junior middleweight and crowd favorite Jimmy Lange injured his left in training, forcing the postponement of the June 23rd card at the Patriot Center headlined by Lange vs Tony Jeter. 

That means the only action in town this summer will be at the Convention Center, where local welterweight prospect Dusty Harrison (above) and lightweight Ty Barnett are quickly becoming staples of the local fight scene. The pair won lop-sided bouts as headliners on May 12 in front of a packed house; fans will have four more chances to catch the duo in action this year at the same venue under the banner of Keystone Boxing.

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Dustin Poirier vs. Chan Sung Jung “The Korean Zombie”

The Korean Zombie comes out to Zombie by the Cranberries.  Terrible song, but totally hilarious under the circumstances. God, some of the shit they played on the radio in the nineties was horrible, but I guess it is better than the shit the kids are listening to on the internets nowadays.  Next time he should go for Astro Zombies by the Misfits, which is a way more badass tune.  Danzig is one of my favorite small people of all time.  Poirier is the favorite here, but I don’t know why.  I don’t see him winning this one.  The Zombie is better on the ground, has heavier hands and is impossible to knock out. 

Round 1- Zombie gets the takedown on the kick.  Landing nice elbows.  Poirier has the Zombie pinned against the cage and the Zombie works a nice trip.  Zombie’s got a crucifix, which is the last place you want to be with this fucker, who is sick on the ground, but Poirier is able to get back into full guard.  Zombie is landing short elbows from the top.  Dustin’s head is cut, and the Korean smells brains and is going in for the kill, trying to open that skull up, as he is starving after cutting so much weight for this fight.  Poirier almost lands an upkick and gets a sweep on the Korean, but the Zombie is sitting up on the cage and looks fucking bored.  Love the Zombie, but I hope he doesn’t fall asleep.  He seems content to wait the round out on the cage.  The Korean is up and Poirier lands a nice elbow as they separate.  Poirier goes for a takedown, but the Zombie sprawls and forces Poirier to the mat.

10-9 for the Zombie

Round 2- Zombie with leg kick.  Catches Poirier’s leg and gets the takedown.  Pounding Poirier from the top position.  Zombie now in full guard and the crowd is loving it with a Zombie chant. Zombie postures up and lands a big left lets Poirier stand.  Poirier is landing a few shots, but the Zombie comes forward with a massive flying knee and is killing Poirier.  Poirier shoots, but the Zombie flips out of it and is in a full mount and trying to break Poirier’s skull open and get to his delicious brains.  This is a really dangerous position for Poirier to be in.  Zombie gets an arm and real quick goes for the arm bar.  Transitions to triangle.  Shit is tight as fuck. Throwing elbows from the triangle so he must not have it perfect.  Zombie back to armbar, but Poirier gets out of it (to USA chants) and is in the Korean’s open guard Zombie sinks another dope triangle, but Poirier is saved by the bell. 

10-9 Zombie

Round 3- Front kick by Zombie.  Poirier looks like he landed there.  Not sure Poirier should stand and trade with the Zombie, but I guess he’s got a better shot here than on the ground.  Zombie lands a few shots.  Zombie lands a left.  Poirier is landing a few shots.  Zombie keeps coming forward and landed a nice right. Poirier is landing with the left, but the Zombie takes him down and has a crucifix and is landing, but Poirier is able to rolle off the cage by walking up with his feet. Zombie is beating the  shit out of Pirier against the fence, but Dustin comes back with a nice elbow of his own.  both fighters look really tired.  Zombie lands a kick and then comes forward.  Landing a nice combination.  Korean Zombie has his hands down totally and Poirier is starting to land, but the Zombie comes forward with a few strikes of his own.  The Zombie has a nice chin and comes forward throwing bombs as the round ends.

That was the closest round so far.  I think Poirier landed more shots there. 

10-9 Poirier

Round 4- Zombie throws a head kick.  Poirier is landing punches, but the Zombie just keeps coming forward.  Zombie with the uppercut and a flying knee.  Poirier is hurt badly and goes for a takedown/falls on his face.  Korkean has a D’arce choke and Poirier is out as the fight is stopped.

Amir Sadollah vs. Jorge Lopez

Round 1- Not a lot going on so far, but Jorge looks way bigger than Amir.  Jorge has Amir pushed up against the cage and Amir is struggling to get control of the clinch.  Amir is able to get Jorge off him.  Amir throws a kick, which was blocked.  Jorge throws a leg kick.  Lopez goes for the takedown.  Jorge picks him up and slams Amir and is now on top in the full guard.  Amir knows what he is doing on the bottom position and is landing some shots.  Jorge has advanced to half guard, but Amir is standing up against the cage.  Jorge has an arm, but I don’t think he is going to be able to sink the Kimura with Amir against the cage like that.  Amir has a clinch against the cage, but Jorge is defending.  Amir is landing knees to the buttocks and gets a few more knees as the round ends. 

10-9 Jorge

Round 2- Lopes throws a kick and then pushes Amir against the cage.  Amir is defending the single leg well and is boxing Jorge’s ears.  Jorge has Amir pushed up against the cage, but isn’t really working.  Amir is able to get some separation.  Amir looked like he landed a right that hurt Jorge.  Amir lands a nice front kick.  Amir comes forward and Jorge pins him against the cage again.  Lopez is really strong, but Amir has a nice grip on his neck and is going for the standing guillotine.  Lopez rolled out of it though and is now on the ground and has Amir’s back.  Lopez goes for a kimura, but doesn’t get anything out of it.  Amir needs to get some offense going if he wants to take this round.  Bodyshot by Sadollah.  Leg kick by Sadollah.  Jorge looks tired.  Amir throws a kick and Jorge takes him down with thirty seconds left.  Sadollah is landing nice elbows from the bottom, but I don’t think it is enough to take the round.  Closer than the first, but I still think Jorge took that one.

10-9 Jorge

Round 3- Jorge is landing.  Amir is coming forward, but Jorge ties him up again against the fence.  Amir needs to keep his distance.  Jorge is way stronger than he is.  Amir is doing a good job of defending and isn’t taking a ton of damages, but is getting outmuscled.  Lopez is still going for the single leg.  Amir falls, but gets back to his feet.  Lopez goes for a kimura, but Amir turns him around aginst the fence.  The fighters separate.  This fight stinks so far.  You’ve got a strong guy who isn’t too technical at all against a more technical striker who isn’t keeping his distance enough to land effectively.  Amir gets in a few shots right there, a nice front kick and a punch, but now Jorge has Amir against the fence and Amir is going for another guillotine, but can’t get it and Lopez drags Amir to the ground.  If he can stay on top for the rest of this round he should win the fight.  Florian keeps talking like Amir has a shot at winning this fight.  He has a lot of respect for great striking on the back.  The ref stands them up.  That’s stupid, but whatever.  Lopes is gassed, but has Amir pinned against the fence again.  Amir tries for another standing choke, but doesn’t do shit with it and the crowd boos as the fight ends.  

 10-9 Lopez.  Terrible fight.  Amir needs to hit the weight room. 

Judges score it 29-28 Lopez 29-28x2 Amir Sadollah.  I don’t agree with that decision, but Amir probably landed a few more strikes while getting dragged all over the ring.  Lopez didn’t do any damage at all, and I’m not usually a big fan of lay and pray, but it wasn’t like Amir ever landed anything that looked decent.  Boring fight and I don’t really care if I see either of these guys again.

Donald Cerrone vs. Jeremy Stephens

Cowboy Cerrone looked like shit in his last fight against Nate Diaz, but Diaz has been making everyone look like shit lately.    Hopefully Cerrone has improved his defense since the Diaz fight, when he ate a record-breaking 258 of 314 punches 82%.  Jeremy Stephens punches a lot harder than Nate Diaz so if he lands a few clean ones on Cerrone, the fight could be over quickly.  Stephens is not really a sophisticated striker.  He just throws haymakers, whereas Cerrone throws a variety of strikes and is much taller.   

Round 1- Stephens lands a leg kick and a left.  Stephens throwing combinations getting in on the taller Cerrone.  Stephens is throwing bombs and Cerrone is keeping his hands down.  Not a great combination.  Hope he keeps his distance.  Cerrone is throwing some weak kicks, but isn’t really doing much.  Cerrone shoots in high and it is stuffed.  Stephens just misses with the right.  Cerrone getting a nice punch kick combo in there.  Cerrone landed a shot and it looks like Jeremy Stephens got poked in the eye.  He’s blinking, but maybe he just got punched in the eye.  I’d like to see a replay of that.  Cerrone landing a nice combination.  Stephens eye looks bad.  Cerrone thros a flying knee.  Cerrone is picking Stephens apart with strikes.  Looks like Stephens is hurt and is just backing up the whole time.  Stephens needs to push the action.  Cerrone goes for a big flying knee as the round ends.   

10-9 Cerrone, who is looking good, but needs to watch out for the big shot. 

Round 2- Cerrone throwing a big head kick.  Stephens needs to charge in.  He’;s not close enough to do any damage.  Cerrone is throwing a lot of fance strikes and misses the spinning elbow.  He landed another shot to the eye and Stephens is blinking again.  Cerrone is putting a beating on Stephens.  Don is putting on a muay thai clinic.  Stephens’ face is fucked.  Cerrone is not worried about getting hit at all and is working Stephens bad from a safe range.  Cerrone works a takedown as the round ends, but isn’t able to do anything with it.  Eats an upkick to the face.

Round 3- Massive nutshot by Cerrone to start the round.  Cerrone looks like he has a cut on the top of his head.  I don’t know where that came from.  Stephens is taking his time after getting his dick mashed, hopefully getting his wind back to throw some more haymakers.  Cerrone gets back down to business landing combinations at will.  Cerrone has landed a ton of heavy leg kicks.  Stephens looks like he has had enough.  Another big leg kick by Cerrone.  Stephens landed a punch there, but there wasn’t much behind it.  Stephens throws a big uppercut, but it is too far away to do any damage.  Stephens is saying that he can’t see, but Yamasaki tells him to get back at it and they don’t stop the fight at all.  That was weird.  Stephens is still throwing, he’s just not landing much.  Stephens tries for a flying knee, but Cerrone ducks under it. 

10-9 Cerrone, who is certainly going to win this one and looked great in his comeback fight.  They have an advertisement for the Snow White film with the Twilight chick in it.  I am willing to wager that they wasted their money on that one, given the audience for Tuesday-night cagefighting. 

30-27x3 for Donald Cerrone.  Cerrone is always exciting to watch and is probably ready to fight again next week. 

Jeff Hougland vs. Yves Jabouin

Round 1- Yves threw a leg kick.  Yves lands a left.  Hougland throws a leg kick and gets hit with a right and a spinning back kick.  Big leg kick by Yves.  Hougland throws a kick, which is blocked.  Yves returns the favor with a head kick and it is also blocked.  Another head kick checked by Hougland.  Another head kick, also blocked by Hougland.  Hougland throws a leg kick.  Not much has happened in this round with a minute left to go.  Yves throws a side kick that knockes Hougland back.  Hougland moves forward with a leg kick, but eats a spinning back kick to the liver and goes down.  Yves throws some shots from the top.  I thought the ref was going to end it after the kick.  The ref actually got between them and Yves backed off and then the ref decided to let him go again.  That was a fucking terrible move by the ref.  You need to end the fight once you get involved like that.  Hougland looked like he was going to puke.  Yves throws an axe kick to Hougland’s stomach and then throws a few more punches. 

10-9 Yves

Round 2-  Yves is attacking the stomach with kicks.  Hougland shoots, but Yves jumps out of it.  Spinning backfist from Hougland missed.  Yves is coming through with more kicks.  Hougland shoots and it is stuffed again.  Lots of kicks, not many landed. Yves lands a jab to the face.  Again, this is a round Hougland can steal if he gets a little more active here.  Yves throws another bodykick, but it doesn’t land to hard.  Yves lands a punch.  Hougland comes through with a kick.  Yves lands a light head kick.  Hougland is not trying to win this round.  Yves lands another leg kick.  What a boring round.  Yves should have already won the fight if the .

10-9 Yves

Round 3- Hougland’s eye is fucked. Yves lands a left hook and Hougland is hurt.  The ref tells Yves not to hit in the back of the head, but Hougland is really spinning around there.  Can’t believe the ref is giving him shit for that.  Yves is pouring on the shots from the top and the ref is still letting it go.  This guy might yell at the fighters, or get between them, but he doesn’t seem aware that he is allowed to stop the fight.  Hougland gets a hold of Yves and is able to get to his feet, but takes another kick to the body.  Yves is back on top and is landing a ton of shots.  Hougland is getting his ass beat bad.  Yves is in the closed guard and Hougland is trying to spin out, but Yves is staying on top and is in half guard.  Ref stands them up.  Yet another  terrible call from the ref.  Probably not going to affect the outcome of the fight though.  Yves lands another bodyshot and a headkick to what may have been a downed opponent, but it is hard to tell from the camera angle and the ref doesn’t seem to know the rules anyway and Yves has Hougland down on the ground again as the round ends.  

30-27x2 and 30-26 for Yves Jabouin, who thanks St. Pierre for being in his corner.  Nice win for the Canadians.